Soft Light Reverie

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i don’t know what i’m doing

i don’t know where i’m going

i keep myself busy

so i don’t have to feel it

i’m only eighteen

but i feel so tired

like i’ve been carrying things

i never should’ve carried

maybe i’ll be okay

maybe i won’t

i keep telling myself

but i don’t really know

i’ve been working all day

just to make time pass

keeping myself exhausted

so i don’t think too much

and i hate when it’s quiet

‘cause that’s when it comes back

all the things that happened

all the things i never asked for

maybe i’m just tired

maybe i’m just lost

maybe i gave too much

and it cost me more than i thought

i keep saying i’m fine

like it means something now

i can talk and laugh with everyone

then fall apart when they’re gone

i don’t know if i’m healing

or just keeping myself busy

i don’t know if i’m getting better

or just getting good at hiding

i’m only eighteen

why does it feel like too much

i never deserved this pain

i never deserved any of it

maybe someday i’ll make it

maybe that’s a lie

i keep looking at the distance

just to feel alive

there’s a light somewhere

but it’s getting hard to see

i’ve been running from my thoughts

for so long i can’t catch me

and if i disappear

for a little while

i’m probably just working

trying to forget my mind

i don’t need an answer

i just wanna know

that all the things i’m carrying

won’t follow me forever

maybe i’ll be okay

maybe i won’t

i’m still here somehow

still trying somehow

i don’t know what i’m doing

i don’t know where i’m going

but i’m still moving

so maybe that’s something